... I figured it was either you or Gerard just based on what Haru told me. You're both lucky I found out recently, after learning some other things, and not the week after it happened.
Sorry, Monika. I know how much it hurt you to see that, and to not know who did it.
I really didn’t hate her or want her to suffer or anything. Actually, I liked her a lot. She was just one of the people who were open about being willing to play by that set of rules, and I felt like…if people wanted to try to win by doing swimming competitions and wanted to hope no one would murder, it felt a little wrong to do a murder to them.
In retrospect, I think I feel differently about it now.
What's done is done. It's too late to change anything about it.
But in retrospect, knowing what we do now... it probably would have been better to have more people like her around than people who refuse to play by the rules, right?
And I kinda...I think saying its too cruel to accuse someone like Nahida is just wrong. That's not how this works. It was cruel to hurt Valerie, too, but we all have to make bad decisions.
Yeah. I know Nahida understood that. That she had to do something to help everyone. Nahida…has been helping me and Haru for a long time, though she didn’t tell us she was going to do this.
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[it fucking sucks here.]
I didn't want it to be Nahida, either. But you had to stand up for your teammate.
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I did for Valerie what I couldn't do for Lambda, so at least... there's that.
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...Hey Monika? I know Haru told you some things about Lambda. But I also - I'm the one who did it.
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Well, I was supposed to let people think Gerard did everything. But I'm getting sick of lying to people who I like.
[...]
Sorry about how she was found. I didn't mean for it to happen like that.
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[as can happen to anyone.]
I only put her there because I wanted her to look nice but I couldn't get her head back on.
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So she did curse you with the umbrella.
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[ugh.]
Sorry, Monika. I know how much it hurt you to see that, and to not know who did it.
I really didn’t hate her or want her to suffer or anything. Actually, I liked her a lot. She was just one of the people who were open about being willing to play by that set of rules, and I felt like…if people wanted to try to win by doing swimming competitions and wanted to hope no one would murder, it felt a little wrong to do a murder to them.
In retrospect, I think I feel differently about it now.
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But in retrospect, knowing what we do now... it probably would have been better to have more people like her around than people who refuse to play by the rules, right?
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[no kidding...!]
And I kinda...I think saying its too cruel to accuse someone like Nahida is just wrong. That's not how this works. It was cruel to hurt Valerie, too, but we all have to make bad decisions.
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I think anyone who decides to play by the rules of the game is conscious of the consequences, anyway.
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And I liked Valerie. Her life wasn't worth less than someone else's.
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[but britt gonna britt.]
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...Are you okay, Monika?
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I'll be okay. I just have to keep my eyes on the prize, right?