That's a little lonely, too. [no one understanding or knowing the things you've been through...] At least - I think I understand why you don't like to talk about it. [it makes you feel crazy, to try to talk about it and to realize the people around you are ignoring you, or even are in some way incapable of understanding. it makes you not even want to try, because it hurts too much when no one understands.]
It's a necessary sort of loneliness, though. Like you said... it makes people do really crazy things when they find out. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
[it makes you do stuff like, uhhh, nuke the world. which is a very sane and rational thing to do?]
... I didn't ask yesterday because I was a little afraid of the answer. But what happened to you guys?
[it did make her do really crazy things. on the other hand, she feels like she can tell monika about these things that she hasn't wanted to tell anyone else, because monika understands. so there's a part of her that wonders if maybe she can be the person who understands monika, too.]
I'm not so sure what happened to Kyoko and Kazuki. But Amelia and I were - we went to school, and we had a club together for baking and knitting and things like that. It was all really normal.
[...]
But then I started to notice that it was a game. I started seeing the words people were saying as they said them, and I started realizing that people weren't reacting to things the way real people would. And at one point it all sort of just disappeared and was nothing for a while, and when we came back, I was the only one who noticed it.
...And when we came back, Rin was there. He was in the club. His name wasn't Rin or anything, but I could just sort of - it just felt obvious that he was actually a real person. Well, it's hard to explain, but I think you know exactly what I mean, anyway.
... Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. For a while, you wonder if it's the world that's changed or if you're just going crazy, and then it just — clicks. And you just know.
[and then you lose your marbles for a man, and for WHAT.]
They must have used your memories of Rin as the base for the player character or something... I've heard that the other groups have run into people they recognized on the special missions, too, even though there's no way that person could actually be there.
[well. that's a relief. she felt somehow that it must really be rin, even after others tried to assure her it wasn't true. but it's easier to believe monika.]
I really thought it was crazy when you erased those other people in your story, you know. But I did the same thing to Amelia. The situation was just so messed up. She didn’t seem real, she just seemed like she was written to be annoying on purpose.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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monika stares, flabbergasted.]
I... Thanks?
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[she peers at her for a moment.]
Sorry. I forgot for a second.
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[and after a second - ]
That the place we went to was your memories.
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[she closes her eyes briefly.]
I noticed you came back in my school's uniform.
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[...]
Sorry. I get that it's super invasive. But I also understand a lot better now. How alone you must have felt.
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I'm sorry that you understand. I hoped nobody else would ever have to.
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That's a little lonely, too. [no one understanding or knowing the things you've been through...] At least - I think I understand why you don't like to talk about it. [it makes you feel crazy, to try to talk about it and to realize the people around you are ignoring you, or even are in some way incapable of understanding. it makes you not even want to try, because it hurts too much when no one understands.]
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[it makes you do stuff like, uhhh, nuke the world. which is a very sane and rational thing to do?]
... I didn't ask yesterday because I was a little afraid of the answer. But what happened to you guys?
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[it did make her do really crazy things. on the other hand, she feels like she can tell monika about these things that she hasn't wanted to tell anyone else, because monika understands. so there's a part of her that wonders if maybe she can be the person who understands monika, too.]
I'm not so sure what happened to Kyoko and Kazuki. But Amelia and I were - we went to school, and we had a club together for baking and knitting and things like that. It was all really normal.
[...]
But then I started to notice that it was a game. I started seeing the words people were saying as they said them, and I started realizing that people weren't reacting to things the way real people would. And at one point it all sort of just disappeared and was nothing for a while, and when we came back, I was the only one who noticed it.
...And when we came back, Rin was there. He was in the club. His name wasn't Rin or anything, but I could just sort of - it just felt obvious that he was actually a real person. Well, it's hard to explain, but I think you know exactly what I mean, anyway.
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[and then you lose your marbles for a man, and for WHAT.]
They must have used your memories of Rin as the base for the player character or something... I've heard that the other groups have run into people they recognized on the special missions, too, even though there's no way that person could actually be there.
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[well. that's a relief. she felt somehow that it must really be rin, even after others tried to assure her it wasn't true. but it's easier to believe monika.]
Good. I didn't want Rin to be there.
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I really thought it was crazy when you erased those other people in your story, you know. But I did the same thing to Amelia. The situation was just so messed up. She didn’t seem real, she just seemed like she was written to be annoying on purpose.